Leslie-Fueled Funk
phil | June 29, 2007The Big Organ Trio:
The Big Organ Trio:
My memories of flying when younger aren’t exactly idlyllic - maybe a little boring around the edges, but effective enough - I would arrive at a planned destination and could get to the business of forging happy memories.
Up until a few years ago, I seem to recall that it normally followed these steps:
1) Get on plane
2) Fly
3) Land at destination.
These days, it seems it’s not quite the same. Almost every single flight I take is delayed, or is missing paperwork, or didn’t get fueled, or is too heavy, or unbalanced, or SOMETHING.
They almost always result in a missed day of vacation or a second hotel room purchase or a darkening of the carry-on bags I keep under my eyes. Generally, this ends up with me being shooed away from customer service with a hastily printed 50-dollar-off-future-tickets-with-the-same-stellar-organization certificate.
As I speak, a co-worker is grounded in Roanoke while they try to shake out the nationally-scoped traffic jams caused by some storms in Detroit that happened hours ago.
That, however, is probably a picnic compared to this guy’s experience, all joyously captured on digital:
This is really cool - it’s a wooden adding machine which adds in base dos, as they say south of the border.
From Wikipedia:
A Möbius transformation may be performed by performing a stereographic projection from a plane to a sphere, rotating and moving that sphere to a new arbitrary location and orientation, and performing a stereographic projection back to the plane.
A picture is worth a thousand words…which means that this 2:34 second movie which plays at 12 frames a second is worth exactly 1,848,000 words:
Even scarier than the eggs frying on the counter in Ghostbusters:
From a post on the Biznik forums - one of the most hilarious characterizations of web development I’ve seen.
If you work in website development, you’ll have probably seen vestiges of this enough to for it to strike a chord, generally the Chord of Fear © (see Dramatic Chipmunk, a few posts back)!
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don’t have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don’t bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet.
However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor’s house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can’t happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I’ve given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can’t handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case..
Originally billed as Dramatic Chipmunk.
I call it “Uh, Why Can’t I Connect To The Server?!“.
I admit it - heights completely freak me out.
When I was a child of two, I once stranded myself on a stepstool no higher than a foot off the ground. My mom still enjoys recounting the lurid details of that story during family gatherings.
I guess I can be more specific: George Carlin once said “Heights don’t bother me - it’s falling from them that scares the crap out of me.”
I have always considered him to be a wise man in our age.
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